Thursday, June 13, 2013

ACH SCHEISSE!!! Mist! Verdammt! Verkackt!

Do the words Ach and Scheisse in the same sentence mean anything to you?

I propose and expound more words for you to ponder, to peruse at your leisure, and to see how they fit into your overall momentary cognition, in no particular intentional order:

  • bummed; disheartened; dejected; despondent; down; pissed off  [OK, OK, I know, two words, but only one expression]; annoyed; sad; perplexed; abject; discouraged; crestfallen; woebegone; discouraged, and wretched.

    Before I go further, a disclaimer and embarrassed apology:  I really, really, really thought I had turned off SPOT GPS tracking device, so if the tracking left you confused, it certainly did me as well.  For the uninitiated, one must press and hold the on/off button for quite a bit for the damned thing to turn off. More in a bit on this.

    If you haven't figured it out by now, I'm in Fairborn, not on my way to Iowa as planned for this time and day.  I do not get it.  I simply am dumbfounded.  I prepped, and prepped, and even did a shakedown followed by no more additional prep than checking fluids and tire pressure, and still Slipfighter decided to turn into an almost-F.O.R.D.*

    Yesterday started out quite well, a bit warm and muggy, but not bad, but definitely humid.  In my best "Rocking Ed" emulation, I had planned on an ETD of 0730, and even got up at 0500 to facilitate same.  Having evacuated, showered and depilated, I made myself a mug of tea.  {Scratch that!  I made a mug of tea for myself.}  I then turned on boob tube to check weather forecast(s), stuffed a couple last-minute items in the tank bag, shuffled vehicles around. and got Slipfighter in place for the start of the adventure.



    So there I was, just me and my trusty steed, pretty much raring to go.  National weather on weather channel, www.weatherstreet.com, accuweather all pretty much agree that I should make it into my planned overnight in Galesburg, Illinois (Super8)  ahead of severe weather predicted.  And the motel picture indicates a large column next to the check-in covered area, which should work fine to park & protect bike.  Yippeee!  Finish a bit more of the tea, donate some of that already imbibed to the city sewer system, check clock.

    Crap!  It's after 0800!  See, I really was emulating Rockin' Ed!    Anyway, I finish suiting up, double check the doors and such, text my son, the guy watching my house, and another buddy, go and mount up.   See, muggy enough that it was hazy in beautiful South Fairborn.  Ha ha!

    My planned routing was slab all the way, and after the inauspicious start, I was making time quite well, first gas stop in Brownsburg, IN - 139 miles - in 2 hours, 13 min.  Not bad, and I actually didn't feel too bad.  Daytime hadn't started really building yet, but I decided on stopping at first rest area in IL to hydrate again, and put on my gel bandanna (MiraCool, they DO work!)  So off we go, tripping merrily along the arteries of the American Midwest on I-74.  Slipfighter is running strong, VERY strong.  I find myself slipping into speed realms beyond intended time and again, into the 80s [max recorded on Garmin is 85].  I DID thereby, however learn something about Slipfighter -- turbulence passing large semis at 80+ is almost negligible, in 70-75 range not-infrequently a bit hairy.

    Anyway, just as I had finished a pass on a larger tanker, I noticed I was again in low-80s, and throttle down to a more sedate 73-74.  Shortly thereafter, somehere around mile-marker 16 (16 miles from IL border), I notice the bike is sorta feeling like it is loping, a mild surging sensation.  I throttle back and then back up again, and I am doing 72.  At a normal 72MPH throttle position, I'm doing 72.  At half throttle, I'm doing 72!  AT FRIGGING WOT I'm doing 72!!! {{WOT = wide-open-throttle - vollgas auf Deutsch}}

    I downshift to 5th, and guess what, same flipping thing!  No matter what I do, I can't get over about 72.  Just no power remaining.  It feels like I have a damned governor on the blessed thing.  It was like somehow 40-odd miles from the Speedway station, a blankety-blank gremlin had climbed on board and installed a speed limiter. So, second exit from where it started I pulled off into the Marathon station in Covington, Indiana.  [Trust me, nice enough family running station and convenience store, but you DO NOT want to get stuck in Covington, IN!]

    So, I thinks to meself, "Self, what would Springer do?"  [WWSD]  By now it's high Noon, suns is glaring down, and the heat is going UP, UP, UP!  It sorta felt like maybe I'd lost a cylinder, but I could start it, and it free revs pretty OK.  Plug wires are all in place, and everything else on a visual looked ok.  It did (does) sound a bit ragged.  In other words, there is nothing to put back togther or repair with a chewing gum wrapper (which Pete Springer has done), so I'm pretty much at a loss.

    OK.  I call AAA (I have RV Plus, which gets me 100 miles tow.) After some back-and-forth, the rep says they have nobody available or willing to do the tow until the next day.  Unacceptable.  But I can submit for partial reimbursement up to the 100 miles.  OK, call AMA roadside.  That only covers 35 miles, but can be done same day, and I can submit to AAA as they did not have service available.  Will be there in 45 minutes or less.  Cool.  Bring it on!

    50 minutes later:  "he should be there any time, he had to tank up".  30 minutes after that, "he should be there any time, he's tanking up."  [Now 3:20]  Twenty minutes later - 3:40 - He should be there any time.  4 PM as I am calling to cancel, "roger" shows up.  In the meantime, the one Covington tow company, who won't go further than 40 miles, shows up to keep me company and see if he can help.  He's in the process of calling a contact in Illinois to see if they'll do it, when the other company shows up.

    That company was a strange mixture mixture of  competent, and no-so-much.  They had a neato-keeno piece of equipment I've never seen before.  a four-wheel-dollied wheel chock.  It's a neat tool, but not quite as nice as I could/would design.
 
First, all four wheels need to be lockable.  Second, the rears should be pivotable (change direction) that can be locked both on the pivot axis, as well as wheel rotation.  [Although it could be argued that as long as wheel rotation locks, pivoting is irrelevant.]  OR, you could just permanently mount a frigging chock . . . . ,  I had to help load, unload, tie down (after their tiedown was inadequate) AND give directions.  Garmin routes you wrong to my house coming from the West -  stupid, stupid routing that is longer.
 
    Anyway, the long and short of it was I was not about to try to limp 2500 miles to Monterey (and maybe destroy it completely, let alone finish 5k round trip plus.  I went out and started it this morning.  It starts and free revs just fine, but that means little.  Cold, it sounds a bit odd, but not bad.  However, there is a bunch of oily smoke from the right-hand exhaust.  Will pull plugs later today or tomorrow, and run compression check.  Frankly, I'm glad I didn't go any further. 
 
    But that still leaves me here, at home, not (by now) crossing Iowa, heading toward the Rockies.  It must be remembered, the purpose above and beyond the adventure was to visit Mike II.   I looked into renting a car, but by the time I added gas ,and lodging back into the equation, it's cheaper to fly, and rent a vehicle there.  The tow was expensive, but ended up cheaper than gas plus lodging, especially after I get reimbursed by AAA. So that will cover part of airfare, as will $800+ on return leg - I was planning on riding through Badlands, ferry across Lake Michigan, and finish my abbreviated ride from 2011 across MI , across Ontario, down through the Falls and home, so maybe six hundred more on top of the above 8 C's.
 
But it still doesn't replace the dream of riding across the plains and Rockies, again.
 
Many thanks to Bob, for letting me know SPOT was still running at 9:45 last night!!!  You realy have to push and hold that bloody button.  Thanks to all of the well wishers - sorry I couldn't match your well-wishes.  A special thanks to "Ritchie" of Maskel Towing in Covington - a true knight of the road, who went a step further, even though he could not provide my service (local only).  And a very special big thanks to a fellow "blue star" Dad, a former jarhead, person from IL, and all-around nice guy who offered to loan me his bike to finish the trip. A supremely nice gesture.
 
Gonna see if I can change Blog title.  "Ya gotta be kidding me"  or "FUBAR'd", "How the Hell can Everyone Else Do It?" come to mind.  More likely "SeiCo's Salacious Stupidities" . . . ,
 
I think I'll go eat some fewking worms.  ;-(
 
 
 
*F.O.R.D.: Found On Roadside Dead (or Fewked-up Old Rebuilt DeSoto)
 
 

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